4th of holy crap this is an awesome holiday

The 4th of July holds a dear place in my heart. No, it’s not because of the fireworks. No, it’s not because of the cookouts. And no, it’s not because of the pool time on a day off. It’s because my hometown knows how to do it right.

One, they have cute puppies to give away:

Two: they have sack races. You won’t see a picture of this because what the photo would show is me being BESIDE myself when the three-legged race competitors to our right false started and DID NOT GET PENALIZED. In fact, I was so angry at this that I didn’t start when the whistle was actually blown (and when Casey started). I’m a rule follower, people.

Three: There’s an egg toss. You can’t really cheat in an egg toss. Casey and I got down to the top 10 or so, and we were chucking the egg about 50 feet. 50. Feet. Think about how far that is to throw something as fragile as an egg. It was a mess when someone* didn’t catch it properly.

* it was me. I didn’t catch it properly. And I ended up with egg everywhere.

Four: Someone dressed as Rooster Cogburn tried to get my mom to join his tug-of-war team. My mom was vehemently against it. 

Five: The victims of the dunk tank are the police force & the local dog catcher. 

Six: They have Cow Patty Bingo. Let’s get real, friends. Cow Patty Bingo isn’t for the faint of heart. As you can see, there are 2 cows that are placed in a 10ft. by 10ft pen. The pen is then marked into small 1ft. by 1ft. sections. Someone buys a square and prays to sweet baby jesus that the cow will take a poo in it. This is real life.

Seven: I have a super creative uncle who has no clue what Pinterest is but comes up with this napkin styling on his own.

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